Salvation - the leadings - part 2

There were a lot of years between those early days until the day when God brought a Christian girl in to my path. He really knows how to speak to us.

I had moved from Perth to Sydney.

I had a boyfriend. Someone I had known as a friend for a long time.

It is now 1996 and I am now 28 years.  I hadn't worked for over a year, I was pretty much on extended leave due to overwork, but soon realised that I needed to get myself back to work.  I applied for a job and started working as a secretary.  This Christian girl truly was a God send. She had started at this workplace a week before me. She was the receptionist, but it was my job to cover the gaps and help at reception when required.  The blessing was that I had often finished my job early, so was able to do a fair bit of work at reception and spend time talking to this girl.

Initially I found out she sang! That was a big draw card for me - I found that someone being able to sing was one of the most amazing things. It was beautiful to hear lovely voices, but it was the expression that could be given through someones heart, through a song.

When she said she went to church, my first question was 'what sort of church?' She said 'non denominational' and she gave a brief explanation.  Non denominational, bang, she had me! I was interested! And she sang - bonus!.

One day coming back from lunch, I remember walking toward the office building and over and over I was repeating in my head... 'I don't know what she has but I want it. I don't know what she has but I want it etc etc etc etc etc etc'. I realise now it was God in her life, real, real, real.  I knew she was a worship leader, and although all the dots were not connected, I knew for some reason that my repeated statement 'I don't know what she has but I want it' and her relationship with God, were connected.

October 1996 - One day she invited me to church.

The first meeting I went to they were having a visiting speaker, Ian McCormack.  He had been stung by box jelly fish, had officially died and was brought back to life after being clinically dead.
(His website http://www.aglimpseofeternity.org/)

The meeting started with worship.  I had taken 2 friends with me.  We were only a short way into the first song and I started crying and was finding it hard to stop.  I was embarrassed and didn't know what was happening to me. During the singing time, to help me to 'keep it together', I stopped singing the songs and started reciting the numbers 1-10 over and over and over again to take my mind of what was possibly making me cry. (Worship went for a while so there were a lot of reciting numbers).

I got myself together just as Ian McCormack was introduced and about to speak.  I was happily listening, sitting on the edge of my seat, when he got to the part where he said that he was in heaven and waves of light hit him over and over again, and in these waves he felt pure love, God's love.  I was so impacted.  I was trying not to cry again.  I remember saying the statement to myself, 'WOW, Someone loves me....God loves me!'. Looking back, this was God's drawing me. He was calling me.

At the end of the meeting, Ian McCormack was calling people up to pray for them. He said that he could see aspects of light on certain people and would specifically call them.  I was praying my little heart out that he could not see light on me, as I didn't want to be called out in front of people, as I had such a fear of man, attention phobia, embarrassment. I was very unsure as to whether I would be able to 'hold it together' or would I start crying uncontrollably again?  I was praying, talking to God saying, 'God, please don't be shining your light on me, please God, please don't'.

Well, he didn't call me out.  Phew! My friend from work then sat next to me at the end and she prayed for me.  I remember she had my hand and offered a prayer to God for me.  I was trying not to cry, again! On the drive home I was on a high.  I was so impacted and it was the absolute best thing that I had been to in 'ever'. Because of my crying though, I didn't go back to the church for 3 months.

In November, the Christian girl from work bought me a bible as a birthday gift. I was so touched by this, and as the bible in my house when I was young, I loved this book. I loved the pages, what it smelt like, and most importantly, it was God's word within all it's pages.

Christmas 1996 - I visited for the Christmas service

Again, I was crying!

Interest

I was interested in the service and the messages, so each Monday I would go to work and ask what the Sunday message was on. I was doing this because I felt bad that I wasn't going to the services.  There was no pressure on me to attend though, and during this time, on Sunday's I was with busy going out with my friends.

Easter 1997.
Church again; Cried again!

Changes taking place.

Soon after, [boyfriend] told me that he was going overseas with his mates.  I was a little devastated.  I did agree to him saying to me when I first moved in, that he would still be doing his thing.  This trip was to be a Contiki tour with 2 of his friends.

This was the instigator for me to start attending church each week.  I knew I wouldn't survive his holiday otherwise.  I was feeling quite insecure.

When [boyfriend] left, it was a few days before a church camp on a long weekend (June 1997) and I signed to go.  This was unlike me due to my fear of people and unknown situations, but I needed to occupy myself.

During the camp, toward the end of one of the service gatherings, I heard the words (no one speaking) 'if you draw close to me, I will draw close to you'.  I acted upon those words, it was a choice to, and although extremely nervous about moving forward to the front, in my walking to the front I knew it was a step of drawing close to God, and that He would draw close to me.  (Acted on His word). I was prayed for and there were specific things spoken to me that no one new.  I also received comfort and encouragement for the 'journey ahead'.  I  was taken through a teaching on water baptism and was the following day baptized in the venue's pool along with a few others.

I connected with a girl from South Africa who was visiting Australia for a year and was attending a sister church. I remember watching the people play sport and hang out with each other and I remember the laughing and enjoying; good hearted, good natured fun!  I was being impacted at every turn.  This was fresh life for me!

Back from camp and in the normal week, I was taping the Christian shows on early morning TV and playing them after work, before work.  It seemed that breakfast, lunch, dinner I needed God input.  I needed this every day to survive knowing that my [boyfriend] was overseas with 2 mates holidaying.

I do remember specifically one day walking down the hall of the house I was living in and a question arose; being, 'if my boyfriend asked me to marry him, what would I say?' and my reply was that I would have to say no. I am unsure of the timing of this with everything else, but this out of the blue question and conversation with myself shocked me.  I would say no!?!? Oh dear! What's going on!  That can't be right!

One day, probably a couple of weeks into [boyfriends] holiday, I got a phone call from [boyfriend] asking me to meet him in Europe.  I was so tempted and said I need to check things and see if it is possible. The next day I went to work and told my [church friend] that [boyfriend] has asked me to go over to Europe and meet him there.  She listened and then her first statement was 'didn't he want to go on this holiday specifically to spend time with the boys?' I said yes. She then said, 'maybe you should give him the time to do that and see how strong your relationship is at the end of it'.  'He asked for this time, maybe you should give it to him?'.

These words rung so true.  The WISDOM that flowed from her mouth, OMGosh; this conversation with her was crucial. Those words were actually life giving.

The next time I spoke to [boyfriend] I said a similar thing.  I made the statement that he left wanting time with his friends and he said yes, and so I said I've decided not to go; that I am going to give him that time'.  He was a bit stunned. I was stunned, nervous, but I knew it was the right thing.   [continued part 3]