When I was a child I would have a reoccurring dream. It would come intermittently, maybe every year or two. I would like to share how God worked my life to deliver me of this dream.
The Dream was short and quite simple:
It was me with a single long piece of hair hanging out of my mouth. I would pull on this strand of hair and I would see myself chocking trying to get it out. But it was tied to my insides - right down through to the inside of my intestines. So I would leave this hair there as I was too scared to pull it too hard in case it brought up my insides.
The dream started when I was about 9 years old.
The dream was always the same.
If you read my Salvation posts, you will be aware that I came to the Lord in 1997. At the time I was still with my boyfriend but he was overseas for a couple of months. It was an interesting time as I knew God was calling me. He was placing questions in my thoughts about my life and where I was going. I gave my life to the Lord and was going to church weekly.
My boyfriend returned and one night I had the dream again. I was 29 years old.
I woke thinking about the odd connection that my boyfriend returns and I have this dream of the hair hanging out of my mouth and I am pulling on it, it is tied to my insides and I was too scared to pull it out as it would bring up all my guts.
As the story goes, I leave the boyfriend and start walking this life with Jesus.
In the year 2000 I am working at an office in Sydney and I really am enjoying this job. There is a guy there that seems to be taking an interest in me. I am not sure his intentions but I am viewing him as a friend and to encourage in the Lord as he seemed open to the things of God.
Then one night I have a dream - it is to do with the hair but it is different.
The dream:
I am at work and talking to this guy. As I am speaking to him I take a hold of that one piece of hair and as I am talking to him I start to pull on the hair and it starts to come out of me. I am pulling and pulling as this hair is really long. It starts to come out as a matted ball of hair and I am still pulling and this fur ball of long matted hair is being pulled out of my guts. I am coughing and chocking but I keep pulling on it whilst I am in front of this guy and then all of a sudden the hair is completely out. I look at it and it is a long piece of a matted ball of mess that had been attached to this one piece of hair that had been hanging out of my mouth in my dreams since I was 9 years old.
I was now 32 years old.
When I woke, I thought 'that was strange'. But somehow I knew their was a link to me talking to this guy and my deliverance - so I wrote the dream down and put it on the shelf (so to say).
So relationally this guy would come and chat to my every day. He would bring me a coffee or a chocolate and we seemed to get on OK. I invited him to church and he came a couple of times but I was keeping him at a distance from my heart as I knew that he wasn't necessarily saved. I didn't know it but he was looking for an Australian wife.
I didn't realise it but as I was viewing this as a friendship, the office, as he was visiting me daily at my desk was talking and thinking we were developing a relationship. I would tell people we are only friends.
One evening I was invited to the CEO's house with all the managers, this guy being one of them, and I was invited to. I drove myself there. During the evening they were joking and gossiping about two people in the office that seemed to be spending some time together. Without thinking about it too much I said, 'maybe they are just friends, girls and guys can be friends'.
I spoke this as a truth as I have had male friends and even when they found girlfriend's I was still one of the friends. The girls were wary of me at first but then they realised I was no threat and they were also my friends. I respected my male friends very much and enjoyed the aspect of brother and sister hood with them, and it was safe because I knew there were boundaries.
So back to this evening at the boss's house. When I spoke those words, 'that maybe they are friends and girls and guys can be friends', this guy who I had a friendship with and who was in my dream, got up and went outside and took his phone with him phoning someone. I noticed that there was a change but didn't pay too much notice.
The next day - there was nothing. No visit, no talking, no nothing. He ignored me. He REJECTED me. It was a complete cutting off. I thought this is strange, what have I done, what has changed, and I had a slight sense that it was to do with my comment the previous evening. But I guess I was surprised at the complete nothingness now in speaking with him. He would literally walk past me like I was invisible.
I let it be but at that point I was not fully understanding that the Lord was using this to help deliver me.
A day or so later I was quite distraught. I was walking to work one day and I was crying and crying and I was so distraught that I couldn't go to work. I called in sick but I new that I needed to see someone. I knew there was a lady from church who would be home so I drove to her place. I was crying so hard and when I got to her back door, her large dog was sitting there. When it saw me the dog started howling in distress and I knew that it was because I was in such a state.
I went into the house and was crying and she was hugging me - I still didn't realise or understand what was going on. Then she said 'who has broken your heart'.. at that point I stopped a little and said no one, as no one really had, but again this was rejection speaking and God revealing things to me.
We chatted and the memory here is vague and I may have explained what happened at work. I went home and went to the work the next day. I may have started to think about the hair dream and that this guy situation was going to help me.
My next memory was a few days later, I was praying as I was walking to work and I said, 'I feel like there is something in my belly that needs to come out. There is something there'. I still hadn't put two and two together properly but what needed to come out was this big ball of mess that had affected me since I was a little girl.
So I spoke to my home group leaders and told them what I was feeling and I felt to fast for a few days pending their coming over to pray for me that weekend.
They arrived and Steve spoke with me and asked me about the male authorities in my life and friendships and let down's that I had by males in my life. We spoke about my dad, my first boyfriend and a few other things. Then we prayed. As we prayed I was bent over and it was like I was coughing up something.... deliverance was taking place - this fur ball of emotion and rejection was being released.
At the end I felt such peace. Steve and Sarka stopped praying and spoke peace and blessings over me in the name of Jesus. I was so peaceful I wanted to lay down and go to sleep. So I lay on the couch, they covered me with a blanket and they left me to rest.
Since then I have never had that dream again and it was the start of a major healing process in my life. I know I was delivered but there was also a renewing of the mind that needed to take place as the enemy would try to bring rejection on me but I knew that it would have no hold especially as I would stand upon the word and learn more about who I was in Christ.
I love how God showed me in a dream how he was going to bring freedom to me.
I am forever grateful that he speaks to me in dream's and vision's - I love all aspects of God's love, guidance and gifts which are for the body and for those to be saved.
God is good!
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