Our Daily Bread

My Dad at this time of starting this was 80 years old. His 80th birthday was on the 19th March 2017 and we threw him a party and it was the first party I have known of him to have.  My Dad does't like to be the center of attention.

Just today (early 2017) I came to realise and see, that God is answering and unfolding my prayer for him.

My prayer for my Dad has been, Lord, please do not take him until he has come to Salvation in Jesus. Please show him your love in Jesus, speak to him, reveal Jesus to him.

My Dad grew up in Finland until he was about 14 years, and part of his upbringing was going to a Lutheran Church. From the age of 14, for a few years, he was living with his half sister, who was a minister, with her husband, in the Salvation Army, in country Perth.

My Dad has definitely had some strong Christian influences.  At my Dad's one day, we were looking at photos of Helsinki and we noticed a church. My Dad said he remembered that church clearly as that was where he had his confirmation. I had not thought of my Dad doing anything like that so I was surprised. I didn't talk too much about it as I know I need to move gently with my Dad. He will not be pushed into something that he doesn't want to do or talk about.  I only suggest things, which I think is not a bad way to be anyhow, and I have learn't this with my Dad.

Praying

Following on from my prayer that I have with the Lord regarding my Dad, I have explained in another post, the day that I felt something when I hugged him goodbye, a prompting in my spirit that something was wrong.  After I left, I sat in my car around the corner from his house praying for him and his protection, for the Lord not to take him until he has said YES to him.  A few weeks later I get a message that my Dad has had a heart attack. I had warned my sister that something was wrong and therefor she was keeping an extra eye on him. He ended up in hospital, having an operation as he had a blockage in an artery and had 3 stents put in.

That was a few years ago.

This year (2017) when I went to Perth, the day before I was leaving to come home to the Gold Coast, around the 6th April, I felt to give my Dad a little 'My Daily Bread' devotional.  I had been reading it myself and found this one, although old, very encouraging.  My Dad was coming to have lunch on the Tuesday and I was flying out on the Wednesday. On Monday night I had this quick thought come to my heart, 'give my Dad the devotional'. I was so excited to do that, and that was unusual as my Dad is usually so resistant to anything like that. But I felt it was a leading from the Lord, that there was grace on it.  My Dad had been recently reading 'Antiquties of the Jews' by Josephus, which I had also recently given him.

On the Tuesday, my Dad came for lunch and as he was leaving I walked him to the car and I showed him the book. I said "Dad, I know how you like reading so I am going to give you a 30 day challenge".  He laughed and said 'what is it'. I asked him to read this devotional for 30 days, just a little page each day, and after 30 days he can do what he feels to do with the book, keep reading or give it back to my Mum. So my Dad was happy to do that. I felt very happy and excited that he took it and very brave. My Dad is not scary at all but I love him so much, that I would not like there to be any confrontation with him.

Returning to QLD I rang him and he said he was reading a few books and he named the little devotional I gave him as one.  I was so happy, and have been praying for the Lord to speak to him and open his eyes and reveal Jesus and how much he loves him.

I had been reading a book about destiny and I was encouraged to write down some things I had received from God for my family.

So, with my Dad I wrote down a recent dream which I had of him before I found out he was reading the devotional.

Dream

I was sitting across from my Dad at a table. I was watching my Dad and then he started singing, breaking out into a song of worship to God. I was watching and listening and I was stunned and said, Dad, that is so beautiful. His voice sounded amazing. His voice sounded amazing as he was singing praises to Jesus and I was saying, Dad, that sounds so beautiful, that sounds so beautiful.

Dream ended.

The background to this and what is amazing is I have never heard my Dad sing. He was told as a young boy that he couldn't sing and the teacher would tell the class to get ready to sing 'except you Paul'. I never forgot him telling me that. So seeing my Dad sing in this dream and that it sounded amazing was so encouraging to me. Firstly, he was worshipping, and secondly, when we sing to Jesus, no matter what level of competency we have in singing, to God it sounds simply amazing, and spiritually, it sounds amazing. Also my Dad described himself as agnostic. So for my Dad to be singing in a dream praises to God I knew God was showing me something. I knew that it was a God dream.

So I started to write this with the intention that I am going to pray and remind myself of these things which the Lord has shown me.  I then went to ask the Lord about another member of my family. As I did I turned to another book I have that I write in. As I turned to it I was stunned at the last thing I had written in it, which I had completely forgotten about (but God hadn't).

7th February 2017.

Dream:

I was with my Dad and others. We were standing around a table and there were some devotionals on them - old Christian such as Spurgon and others.  My Dad took one, I took another and so did the others with me.  We all then went back to our homes with our books.  There were 2 ways to go back. Myself and the other two people went via a park or garden. We walked along the path to where we were going.

My Dad took a different way.  There was a big pond or lake - it went from where the table was on one side to my Dad's house at the other side. I watched as my Dad walked across the water on a board going toward home. I saw him walking carefully along the boards and I saw his thick ankles, thick because of the arthritis. He finally made it to the other side and I watched as he was opening the from door to his house. He still had the book in his had and as he turned waved at me with the hand holding the book, he gave me a big smile and he closed the door.  Dream ended.

In my diary I wrote:

As I am writing, just now I was reminded of Peter who went out of the water to Jesus. My Dad was walking on water but with the use of a board which I am sensing is trust. He doesn't trust the way of going to Christ, the faith that says, Lord, I'm walking on water to You and if I keep my eyes on You I can do anything. I can do it and come to You. He was interested though, and he definitely was stepping out there.

Father, I pray that as You know my Dad, you know how to spark his interest and his heart toward You.  Father, to trust you. Jesus, in Your name I declare Your praise and give thanks for my Dad and His salvation, You know Him. Father, help my Dad be like Peter, to walk on water to come to You, Jesus. My Dad, My Dad.  Lord, In Jesus name, in authority in the Lord I command every devil and blinding spirit to take their hands off my Dad.

Eyes be opened

Eyes be opened

Jesus, I pray and ask for that new heart for my Dad. That which is salvation, so that he has relationship with You God.

Father, that thing that my Dad has to read to help him please get it into his hands.

Thank you Jesus, Thank You.  Hope Hope Hope  (Biblical Hope)

When I saw all of this today, I was brought to tears. That last day in Perth saying goodbye to my Dad, I gave him the books that God intended to get into his hands.  God used me to give it to him. That my prayer unfolded before my eyes.  That my Dad is going to say, like Peter, when Jesus asks him 'who do you say that I AM', that my Dad is going to respond, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God".

I am still keeping this all in prayer, but I am so encouraged, as I today, even though I had completely forgotten this dream and prayer I wrote in February, in March I gave him the book that he needs.

Lord, come have Your way in my Dad.

So, if you are praying for loved ones, don't give up. Continue to do so. Don't give up.

The above is the outworking on my prayers and promptings from the Lord.

I am sure there will be your testimonies to give the Lord glory.

He hears your prayers. He loves your family. He answers.

God bless you.

** Update, my Dad became sick shortly after receiving the devotional and me starting to write this. I will update he story soon.  All I know is that my Dad went home to the Lord and Jesus saved him.

My Princess Walk The Road to Life

I was given this little book called His Princess, love letters from your King.  Today I read the above page and it really spoke to me about a situation I was in 8 - 10 years ago.

This little devotional speaks of two roads to travel and how God calls us back to Him. If you find yourself on the wrong path, call out to Him and He will lead you back.

Early in my Christian walk, I understood it to be taught that you need to walk this tightrope of life and if you fall off that tightrope, you are a gonner!

When I was saved at 29 I was in a relationship with someone I had known for 10years. We were friends for 6 years then together in 1994. In 1997, after 3 months of responding to Christ's call for salvation, I knew that the relationship would not last. It was a mutal decision for us to move on separately.  I carried on with my walk. There were opportunities for Christian relationships but I never took them.

When I was 38 I met a guy. I was now 10 years in the Lord.  We were introduced by Christian friends and I was encouraged to have coffee with him. We actually got on quite well. He was fun!

I was in a tender time and life situation. I knew that God was calling me on from the church I was attending.  I also wasnt well, collapsing at times, but I didn't understand to the degree I wasn't well and how rough the next year's would be.

So, there was a lot going on in my life.

T was friendly. Kind. Funny.
T was saved at 21 and he was on fire. Then things happened in his walk, in his church, and he turned from God. When I met him he seemed open to chat about things again and maybe come back to God.  We caught up a few times.

The danger:
I was already in a tender situation as mentioned above, I felt I needed to leave the church I was associated with at the time.  It was quite controlling, and I knew I had grown and God was calling me to leave. It was confirmed a few times by people who didn't know the situation.

The safety:
I witnessed over the years, men who would come to the church, get saved and then marry the girl they came for, then I would see them leave the church, forget God and then this girl is in a marriage with someone that had no interest in God.  I thought, I am not going to go out with a newly saved guy. I have to know they were saved because of God, not me!

I was also becoming unwell. I had been collapsing at work.
Having funny spells and not sure what was going on.  The doctors said it was stress and anxiety.

T and I started to meet up more.  We would see each other weekly. I would talk to him about God. We would have in depth discussions. I would often hear of his issues that came out of his religious upbringing. He was gentle and kind to me.  I kept saying that I am waiting for someone who is saved, who loves God etc.

T rang me one day after a couple of months and said that he decided to 'give God a go again'. He rang and told a few other friends before he told me.  I was happy he told others, but I was concerned with the way he put his thoughts in 'giving God a go'.  I didn't write him off with this as I knew God could do anything, so I thought, Ok I will wait and see.

Trying to apply wisdom:
I had started to see T more constantly and we were becoming a couple. I decided to stay with my church longer as they knew me and I felt that it wouldn't be a good time to leave when starting a new relationship.  T came along to church.  Everyone liked him, everyone!!

Time went on.  T would come to church.  Then one day he stopped.  He was concerned about the church I was going to. I stayed longer, but I knew that I did need to leave them.  On the final day I was there I had a meeting with the Pastor and he said to me, we really like T but is he smart enough for you? Will he stimulate you mentally!  I was shocked he even said this, but those words stayed with me and obviously they saw something I didn't at the time. These words rang true later.

New beginnings:
Here I was, in a relationship. I was looking for a new church, hopefully one we could both go to.  We were enjoying each other's company.  I started to go to a church in Newtown called Newtown Mission.  Here I started to hear the Gospel in a way different to how I had been before.  T even came along, but one day he thought there was a hint on control and he didn't come back.  I was disappointed but wasn't going to stop going.

T asked me to marry him after 3 months. I couldn't say yes but I couldnt say no.  I needed more time to see him with God.

Another issue:
I at this time was diagnosed with Hashimotos which is an issue with the immune system attacking the thyroid and I realise I had symptoms since my early 20s. I was constantly tired. I was struggling.  T helped me.  He was kind, caring.

What I failed to admit or comprehend was that in this relationship I had no peace.  I tried, and thought maybe it is just me. My parents split when I was young, is it fear of relationship, getting married etc.

Also, leaving my first church, I left with a lot of fear.  Fear I was not covered, fear that God would leave me, fear fear fear.  It was because of what was said over 10 years that bound me.  It took me quite a few years to unravel all this mess and words and wrong understanding of life in God and Church.

T walked this with me.

This is a bitter Sweet story.
This has shown me alot about how God can make good from the bad.
Even though I was in a relationship that was not right, God didn't leave me.  I was in his protection and love.  I was constantly asking Him to guide me, direct me etc, but it was so messy. I had left a church that had put wrong things into my thought life about leaving, I was in a relationship I was trying to find peace in and I was unwell.

When I left my first church I felt that I needed to learn to hear God's voice again.  I had heard it and knew it, but it is like I went into a church with strong parental controls that I didn't necessarily need as an adult. I needed and wanted loving pastoring though!

I was a mess! Hearing God's voice but doubting it was Him.

So in all of this, God didn't leave me.
God guided me.
He didn't punish me.
It was like I needed to learn to hear HIS voice again and not just be controlled or told by spiritual leader (even though I see wisdom in Godly counsel).  God was working to have me strong enough to be able to stand on my own two feet, to understand His will, to walk in the direction He had for me, and be reassured that I was not alone.

T also wanted to retire at 40 and go and live south of Sydney by the water. I could not see myself doing that. It was like I would but put in the corner and live out my days not living the walk that God had for me.  I just had no vision for what he was offering.

There were so many signs!

Strength:
When I did make the decision to leave T I was stronger and resolute.
I had done it before but went back for another year!
But this time was different!
We split on the Sunday and on the Monday I went to work.
I opened up Facebook quickly to check any messages and the first post I saw jumped out at me and it was like a metal rod of strength went through my spine.

It was 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you!

That was it.
It was like God was saying to give thanks, you have done rightly by breaking up, and you are in MY will for you.  I was so encouraged!  I knew this was my word!!!

I set my face like Flint and moved forward knowing this was the will of God for me.  I had made the right decision.  I was still sad, I still shed tears.  It took a while.

I wouldn't want to do all that again but it did show me the love and grace of God in my life.

What is interesting is that prior to meeting T and leaving church, I asked God for a Damascus Road experience. I wanted to see God clearly. I wanted to see Jesus.  This whole circumstance although it was full of "so much stress, emotional, turmoil" it was like at the end of it and looking back, I knew Jesus so much more, I knew my walvatsal so much more. I trult feel like it was my Damascus Road experience.  That I was blind for a while but then God came and set me free and my eyes were open and I saw Jesus again, clearly. The view was clear.

So, I am so thankful that God led me back to the right road. He did it.

The great things I have learnt in my hardest times
This was one of those times and I can say, I truly came out seeing Jesus.  His love, His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness.

Despite the road I travelled, I will always advocate to DO THINGS GOD'S WAY.  It is the best way!

Thank you Lord for saving me.