I wrote this on the previous post and am just now reading a word given to me in June 2016.
Somewhere between 9 and 11 years old I knew that I probably wouldn't have children. Initially the reasons from my understanding were due to the pain, putting on weight and ultimately I thought, how can I love something that comes from my own body. This was only because I felt so unloved myself and of so little value, so my weight was a focus and coming from such poorness in love, how was I to love something that came from me? I did sometimes say to myself that I will be the 'best Aunty' or maybe foster or adopt, but it depended on who I would marry. I would also say that I would love others so that they never feel unloved the way that I did. At one point I asked the Lord to do whatever He wanted with me, including children. When saved I would say it is now up to my husband and I when we get married to decide if children were coming. That it wasn't just my decision. I wonder though now, that maybe it was the Lord's plan for me to not have my own children. I believe I have been healed from a lot. So at this time I can see in my life, through Christ, I will have children. Spiritual children.
The word is...
it was a prophetic evening and Bianca saw for me a lonely child and red dirt for the future. I said to David Reeves that the child was me. Then David spoke and said...
God is redeeming you and you will be a mother; a mother of faith to people. And God will give you people to love and give what you didn't have ( or you will give them what you didn't have) and you will love them and grow them.
When I heard this it rung so true as I know what was in my heart and what I have always said about children and loving people giving them what I never had, knowing how much it is needed!
I was so blessed hearing this and was teary. The red dirt, I have wondered whether I would go to the outback at some point. I love the outback and have seen glimpses of being in small churches that need Jesus!
No comments:
Post a Comment